Some would say the greatest heartbreak therapy for a broken hearted soul is ice-cream, and while they’re not entirely wrong, this might not be the best advice for your broken-hearted friend fresh off the wounds of a failed relationship.
Heartbreaks are serious. To quote a friend of mine, that heartbreak thing is some serious shit.
I suppose you never really know until you go through it yourself. I mean, you see it in the movies and from friends and everything, but it doesn’t really quite hit you on that personal level, not until you go through the brunt of it yourself.
And from then on you start to realize, ice creams don’t do shit.
Heartbreak therapy for the Broken Hearted – Getting Personal
Shit got real for me about a year ago. That was when I went through my very first – and hopefully last – heartbreak. And that, also, was when I became a “heartbreak expert”.
The pain was that deep.
It had happened right out of nowhere. And the worst part of it was my partner had brought me so much happiness. I had let myself go. I put all of me in it.
And that’s the catch, guys, once you let them bring you so much joy, they’re very capable of taking it away and bringing you ten times the pain.
But isn’t that what love is all about?
To get happiness and joy from it? Of course. And that’s where the quandary begins. But have no fear, in this post I’ll try to clear up as much of that quandary as I can, in the form a few Q and As on the best advice for a broken hearted friend.
With time the pain eases, the body recovers and the brain figures out new ways to go on.
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Heartbreak therapy for the Broken Hearted – How Long Does It Take?
Ask everybody you know: How long does it usually take to get over it? There are many formulas. One year for every year you dated. Two years for every year you dated. It’s just a matter of willpower: The day you decide it’s over, it’s over.
Dear broken hearted friend, How exactly do I put this – there is no definite time to define just when a heartbreak ends.
It varies from people to people, but one thing anyone who’s being through a serious heartbreak will tell you is that it takes a hell of a long time.
I mean for you it may take a couple of months, a couple of weeks, a couple of years. But that is by the way because the actual temporal duration of the pain does not matter.
Like relativity, even if it takes a couple of hours those hours will be the longest of your life. Sadly it will be filled with pain and hurt and darkness like you’ve never imagined and this will make it, no matter how short it seems to another person, like a lifetime for you.
So to answer the question how long does it take to heal yourself from a broken heart the answer is a long time.
You have to be prepared because you are in it already and it’s not going to be fun, but one thing you got to have in mind at all times is that time is a healer and no doubt – absolutely no doubt whatsoever – you will get over it.
No matter how bleak it seems, and no matter the fact that you do not even believe me now, you will be fine in the end.
Best Advice For a Broken Hearted Friend – Can You Die of a Broken Heart?
The funny thing about a broken heart is that it’s not fatal. Though you wish in vain that it were, life continues on and you have no choice but to continue on with it. You take the hand that fate has dealt you and you press forward because there is nothing else that can be done.
On the difficult journey of heartbreak therapy for a broken hearted, different dark thoughts come to mind.
I’m talking about a serious, difficult heartbreak. No doubt you start to think bad thoughts, and, sadly, one of it is: am I gonna die?
Good news, honey, you are not going to die. And death is not the answer, anyway. You are going to be fine and stronger than before.
There is indeed light at the end of this tunnel, even though most times it doesn’t seem like it. Love has beautiful things to offer – and trust me, it will find you too.
Best Advice For a Broken Hearted Friend – Can You Heal the Heart You Broke?
Sometimes, the only soul that can mend a broken heart is the one that broke it. For they are the ones holding all the pieces.
But do they ever?
Most certainly not.
One thing that’s common in most heartbreak cases is that we find the person whose heart has been broken going back to the person who broke it.
Some people even see this as the best advice for a broken hearted friend; the first step of heartbreak therapy for the broken hearted.
They believe this in hopes that that person who has hurt you so bad is the one the only one who can heal you. But this cannot be farther from the truth.
Because hypothetically even if they do have the power to heal you, most times they never do. And at best it will end up being merely a transient healing because it will never be complete and it will never last.
There was – or there is – a reason they broke your heart on the first place. This may be conscious or unconscious but that reason will always be there, and running back to them hoping that they may heal you from your pain is almost always a wrong move.
You have to take the power of your healing; the power of your heartbreak therapy from them, and give that power to yourself.
It is hard as hell; it is not a very easy thing to do, but by God it is possible and this is not only the most effective way but 90% of the time it is the only way.
Best Advice For a Broken Hearted Friend – Just tell me Why?
Heartbreak is heartbreak. You think I’m sitting here gloating. Telling myself that my suffering beats yours? Hurt is hurt. You don’t measure these things.
Related to going back seeking healing from the person who broke your heart, is going back to them looking for closure.
And, keep in mind, this might very well be the single most painful, most destructive thing about a heartbreak. Not knowing why.
In most cases you will violently seek this closure. You will go back; you will examine your past; you will ruffle everything, causing yourself immense pain just trying to figure out why and how and where it all went wrong.
You will cry wondering what you did wrong; wondering what shortcoming of yours made that person make that decision.
You will blame yourself; you will beat yourself up; you will curl up in a ball and cry all because you don’t know why.
But I’m here to tell you today that this is normal. However, you must also have it in mind the 99% of the time you will never get that closure that you seek from knowing why.
And your heartbreak therapy must begin and be completed in spite of this. You must have it in the back of your mind the most times in life we never get that closure that we seek.
We never get that explanation that makes it all make sense, and yet regardless of this fact you must be able to get up get on your feet and say f**k it, life, I’m okay with not knowing.
I’m good I’m great I’m awesome and my future is bright.
Heartbreak therapy for the Broken Hearted – Will I Ever Love Again?
It’s not uncommon for these words to come out of the lips of a person whose heart has just being broken bad. Lord knows it sure came out of mine.
But the truth is..
Time is a healer – even when we don’t want it to be. That way that you’re feeling now is not going to last forever. And no matter what you feel about it now, this is a good thing.
Sometimes – especially after we’ve been hurt – we tend to fall in love with our pain, because at least we have that. We have the hurt; we have the pain and they can’t take it from us, so we hold on to it; we use it; channel it towards some dark end.
But time, time takes away the pain without your permission and I can assure you that in the end you will find life looking a lot less depressing and more beautiful and more hopeful,, and then you start to enjoy things again and you start to see the beauty in people.
And when that time comes – and it will – you will find that person who makes you smile again. And who makes you believe. Who makes you love.
But Should I – Should I Fall Again?
“Won’t I just keep getting hurt? Is it even worth it?”
I don’t know a lot of things in life, but one thing I do know is this: Love is absolutely, absolutely worth it.
You might get your heart broken again, sure. There is always that probability and you always have to be smart about putting your heart on the line.
But a life of seclusion is no life. And the very promises and great things that love has to offer makes the risk so worth it.
So yes, you should love again. Love – love is beautiful.
Best Advice For a Broken Hearted Friend – Alright, But How Exactly Do I Overcome my Heartbreak Fast?
Glad you asked. Now head on over to this beautiful post on how to overcome a heartbreak fast to find out.
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