Dealing with Negative Emotions is as essential as it is unavoidable.
Emotions are, after all, an inextricable part of human experience. Why, some might even regard them as human experience. And while we’d all like to live out our entire lives feeling happy and peaceful and wholesome all the time, things never quite end up like this and more often than naught we come in contact with certain feelings that send us into deep sadness and melancholy, or maybe just plain disconnection and disconcertion.
Sometimes we’re able to tell where these feelings come from, and as a consequence it is easier to overcome them by either nullifying the emotions completely or turning them into something much lighter and more peaceful.
But sometimes the sources of these negative emotions are not so obvious to delineate, and as a consequence, these kinds are a lot harder to purify or get rid of.
In this post we’ll be exploring 8 methods of dealing with negative emotions in relationships, in whichever form they may show up, and under whichever guise. And at the top of our list we have:
Simply because the first step in fighting one’s enemy; whichever form they might be, is being aware that they exist in the first place, even though we might not necessarily know who/what they are yet.
And the same goes for dealing with negative emotions in relationships. Awareness is the first step before arrest. You simply can not defeat an enemy whose presence you’re not even aware of.
And to complicate issues, some negative emotions are suppressed so deep and for so long we don’t even know they’re there anymore.
Perhaps it was something fleeting that our partners did or mentioned a while back, that irked us but we let go. Perhaps it was something we noticed but chose to ignore because we convinced ourselves it isn’t even that important. And then they festered inside us until they became completely rotten.
Sure enough before this they mostly would have manifested themselves once in a while, in milder and subtler forms — like a brief incongruous outburst at a seemingly unrelated event, or a relatively few seconds of unexplainable sad thoughts — but then they disappear again to where they regroup until the time when they’re ready to overwhelm and destroy every single thing in their path.
Being Ready to Admit You’re Dealing with Negative Emotions
Being conscious of these little outbursts and being ready to admit that they are in fact not healthy are then really important steps in mitigating and preventing their full on devastating effects.
It is almost too easy to brush them aside at the brewing stage, and regard them as just normal for the mind to act this way now and then; we don’t admit we’re dealing with negative emotions, when it is in fact at that point — where they seem normal — that they are best tackled and defeated.
Failure to admit we’re dealing with negative emotions at the onset leads to a more problematic scenario, where in fact the situation becomes too far gone to salvage — at least with minimal damage.
So the key is to stay present, be conscious of every minute manifestation of negativity in thoughts and feelings, and most importantly be ready to admit them.
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Never Holding it in
Just as it’s easy to dismiss the latent negative thoughts as normal, it is also very easy to convince ourselves that they are merely a passing occurrence that need not be mentioned.
We tell ourselves, for our own sakes that it will be okay, and that bringing up the event is the very thing that won’t make it so.
But self-defense mechanisms like this are as dangerous as they are wrong. It will not be okay by not talking about it. That is not dealing with negative emotions.
And even though they never explicitly come up again, holding them in has a way of eating us up from the inside, driving us towards that final neurosis that is well capable of destroying all the fantastic relationships that we’ve built, all in the twinkle of an eye.
And of course nagging about past events is also almost as dangerous, but shying away completely is never the answer.
Taking a Breather
Sometimes the best way to tackle a scenario is to step away from it. Especially in a relationship where a lot of suppressed emotions are now starting to boil onto the surface.
The time to act bullish and tackle the matter head on, sadly, has passed. This is, consequentially, not the time to yell and smash things (although those too have their time and place.) This is a time to step completely away. To gather yourself and regain equilibrium. And yes this is mostly harder than it sounds.
The default human response in times like this is to react immediately. Lash out and let it all out at that point in time when we’re hurting and filled to the brim with anger.
But some reactions — especially these kinds — are best made after having acquired serenity from a more distant, more removed place.
So forget all other seeming consequence, find yourself a closet or a cherished personal space, take deep breaths, and then prepare for the next phase, which is…
Safely letting it out
Now this is the time to scream and yell and possibly throw things around. Those acts can be really cathartic, especially in the face of such pent-up negative emotions.
We only ask that you try not to physically hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. You can even go to the gym, or other dedicated places for these kind of physical activities.
Punch a bag, run a treadmill. Sweat, cry, and let it all out!
Staying Around Positivity
In dealing with negative emotions, it’s a simple logical fact to stay away from anything detrimental to progress. Enough positivity at a point will catch up with and eventually negate the negativities. So while taking a breather and kicking punching bags, surround yourself with loved ones, do the things you enjoy.
Go out in the open air and take in the beauty of nature. It works wonders!
Fostering Conducive Physical Environment
This is a more prevention-based trick in dealing with negative emotions than a cure-based one. You’d be surprised how far having a beautiful, calm, peaceful and serene environment can go in making sure you stay clear of negative emotions.
It not only surrounds you with beauty, which is as much a joy to the soul as anything, but also makes sure that as a corollary, you end up with a sound, conducive psychological environment too!
So plant those beautiful flowers, burn those sages and move out those old unwanted stuffs. Create that literal space that creates the psychological space for happiness and endless positivity!
Exploiting Experience as a Learning Process
Study yourself. As we mentioned earlier, there will always be instances of negative emotions. The objective is to learn from each instance by finding out more about your own peculiarities, and most importantly, how to use them to your advantage.
Find out what your coping mechanisms are, where your happy place is, what your conducive environmentsare, and exactly what they point to.
Do these and you’re well on your way to eradicating negative emotions in your relationships forever.
Now go into the world and live a life of unfettered positivity and happiness!
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