“I’m starting to believe there’s no such thing as faithfulness in a relationship, to tell you the truth. I mean, how could someone who claims to love you still cheat on you and hurt you so bad? Does that mean they never loved you? Or love means nothing anymore? I’d like to believe it doesn’t. But I don’t think I can.”
Does Love Guarantee Faithfulness?
For the question itself — does love guarantee faithfulness in a relationship? sadly the answer is No. Love does not guarantee faithfulness n a relationship.
What love guarantees is affection. High affection that promises joy and beauty and understanding and companionship and many other beautiful things. But that’s the end of it really — it is a promise, and nothing more.
But it is that promise that we hold on to. Because the promise is beautiful in itself, and so articulate and attractive that we’re almost sure all its terms will be fulfilled without fail.
Love and Faithfulness, A Contract
We like to think of Love as a contract, for example. And in the contract are terms and conditions, drafted by people without any prescient thought of what’s to come. All they have is the emotions coursing through their veins at that moment to make their decisions by.
Most importantly, though, they both agree to the terms of the contract, which they might not even know for sure, but only have a vague idea of — that is either by conventions or deep-seated wishes they’ve always had.
So during the time they fall in love there’s a strong feeling in their hearts — a strong feeling of affection and hope and trust. But, sadly, of all these things the only thing that’s strongly guaranteed is the affection.
The other feelings are just emotions that we feel are guaranteed but in reality are not. They’re just promises that may may or may not be fulfilled seeing as they’re based only on moment-to-moment parameters; parameters that vary as they choose, with the winds of circumstances sometimes beyond control.
And so even though the affection itself remains whole and intact, there’s never a guarantee that it will make the other parameters remain with it.
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Love Alone isn’t Enough
So again, to answer the question, does love guarantee faithfulness in a relationship, we must consider that, essentially, it is indeed possible to love someone, retain our affection for them over a long period of time, but no longer trust them, or no longer have hope and faith in the relationship.
Not necessarily saying that all these are commonplace events, but they are indeed possible. And most importantly they may be what lead a partner to cheat.
Which is why we believe that the answer to whether love guarantees faithfulness in a relationship is a negative one, because the virtue of faithfulness has a lot more to it required than love.
Does Love Guarantee Faithfulness | The Parameters of Faithfulness
For a partner to remain faithful in a relationship, there must indeed be love, and lots and lots of it. Without this, there, in fact, no hope.
But apart from love there’s also need for a strong and enduring will, and even stronger and more enduring determination, and lastly a huge amount of support from your partner.
Love is beautiful
And anyone who has really, truly fallen in love can be assumed to definitely have the other person’s best interest at heart, and would never seek to hurt that person.
But the external factors, for the weak-willed and undetermined, will always remain the greatest problem.
The physiological/internal factors, too, can not be overemphasized.
The Internal Factors
By external factors, of course, we’re referring to what the senses get as input from the outside world — what we see, smell, feel, etc.
But by physiological/internal factors we mean the inputs we get from inside ourselves, which, as a matter of fact, are just as powerful/important, and can get very overwhelming, even subduing the strongest of us.
The Argument for Love
Some might argue that love should indeed guarantee faithfulness, and that any love that doesn’t wasn’t really love to being with.
The bigger the love, they would say, the stronger one should be at fighting off these urges. And they would be very right.
But, see, in the end even the strongest love (without will and determination and exercise) can be challenged and overcome when the senses (both internal and external) team up to invade at their strongest.
The Argument for Fidelity
Fidelity is very possible, and, dare we say, beautiful. There are people who stay faithful over the course of very long relationships. But to think that only love/affection is enough is nothing more than mere, naive fallacy.
Love is a promise. And most of the time the promises do come true and get fulfilled — that is the joy of it, that is why we have so much faith in it, because that is, indeed, beautiful.
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