I Fell in Love With Someone I’ve Never Met | It’s Been Fantastic
In Love With Someone I’ve Never Met | The Beginning
I’ll tell you about the best day of my life. To say it started out as ordinary as any other day would be an understatement. It started worse than any other day.
I had been extremely depressed the previous night and I went to bed with that depression. I woke up with it, too. Then I did the regular.
I went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face as usual. I went back to bed, slept again, and then woke up and did the same thing.
Instead of going back to bed the second time I fixed myself some morning coffee even though it was way past morning. Then I opened my laptop.
I logged in to a couple of my social accounts and then on to a forum of like-minded individuals to which I belong. It was a lively day on there.
The forum had always been a boring one. We talked about trivial things and shared pics of our dogs and cats. That was all. But on this day boy was it buzzing!
The topic was sex, of course. (What else could rile up men and women alike in mass excitement.) There was a particular user, too, who was more excited than anyone else.
His contributions were frequent, but measured and intelligent. He argued respectfully, and most importantly, with such an urbane humor that even his oppositions cracked a few LOLs once in a while.
The user energized me, too, and soon I forgot about my own sorrows and chimed in. Intentionally, being the sophist that I am, I chose to go against him. And not very long after, what started out as a group argument became a banter of two. It was the most fun I’d had in a while.
A few minutes and a few LOLs later, the discussion moved into the DMs. We exchanged a million personal messages and boy was it crazy!
This may be the most cliche thing to say, but I swear our connection was instantaneous. Without even knowing much about him I already knew I could trust him.
I told him of things I had been incapable of telling anyone else. And like I suspected, he understood me the way I knew no one else could.
He told me things about himself too, and even after about ten text exchanges we had already found a million similarities between ourselves. I was fallng in love with someone I’d never met. We were simply simpatico!
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A Short While Back
I graduated college at a pretty young age, beautiful, thrilling and ready to be thrilled.
All my elder sisters, three of them, were unmarried at the time. I took secret pride in knowing I might even get to do it before them. (Marriage is kind of a big deal where I’m from.) But boy was I wrong.
That wasn’t the only thing I was wrong about, either. I thought after graduation I’d get swooped up by a big firm and become instantly the rich, strong, independent woman I’d always dreamt of becoming. Yeah life had different plans, alright.
Three years, six fruitless job interviews and four heartbreaks later, I decided life was really worthless. I couldn’t step out of the house without feeling the scorn of my entire society and my family on me. I was supposed to be the star of the family. I ended up in hell.
I finally lost it on the day of my last breakup. What made it worse was the fact that I’d seen it coming. And he’d done everything to assure me nothing of the sort would happen. He got married the week after dumping me. Only my family’s intervention stopped me from drowning myself in the bottom of the river.
Crazy – In Love
“Are you crazy again, L?” My best friend, T, asked me with incredulity and pity on her calm chocolate face. “Internet relationships never work out.” She told me. “It’s filled with scams and crooks looking to make a quick buck off your shattered, lonely heart.”
“Oh M’s not a crook,” I told her. “He’s far worse than a crook.” I laughed.
“This isn’t funny!”
But it was. That was what T didn’t know. It was funny. That’s all M and I ever had: fun and funny moments. There was never a doubt in my mind as to his intentions. We were mostly goofing around and laughing and all through that I could tell, unequivocally, that his intentions were pure and true.
Sure I had my doubts, but they were never in regards to him, but to me.
I had started to believe I waa cursed to never have a great, lasting relationship, and if I couldn’t make a real life relationship work with all its perks of proximity and tactile advantages, how the hell could I pull off an online relationship with a man continents away?
It turned out that was exactly what I needed. A relationship without pressure. It was a strictly online relationship, and it doesn’t work out right? Well then good, let’s keep having fun. No pressure of breaking up, or screwing up. Just loads and loads of fun.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. We were not even a thing a thing at that point yet.
Dreams and Bonds
Falling in love with someone I’ve never met – yep, it’s as crazy and improbable as it sounds. But what really did it for both of us was when we found out we both had the same dreams. I had always dreamt of having kids and a house by the lakes and a career as a recognized writer, and it turned out he had always wanted the same things too.
We talked about literature and our favorite poets — our lists were, again, very similar. I had no choice but to tell him how I really felt, and to my surprise he told me he felt the same.
I had no idea how’d feel about the idea of a strictly online relationship. I mean, he was in a different continent entirely and we had space and time and pretty much everything against us. I wondered if it’d seem completely ridiculous to him. It did.
“Yes, it’s absolutely completely ridiculous.” He said. “But who cares. It makes so much sense. I can feel it.”
I told him I felt it too. And I did. I really did. In fact I’d never felt anything more real.
The Sunny Days
And thus began the string of best days of my life. I woke up everyday with more enthusiasm than I’ve done collectively for the previous days of my life combined.
Of course we chatted every night deep into my midnight — which was just his noon — and in the afternoon when I wake he would still be asleep.
That gave me time to work on other things in my life before getting back to him. He convinced me to start a business online. I wasn’t much of a sales person. He convinced me to start a blog for fun, so I did.
He understands me so much. Always willing to listen, we talk about our dreams all the time. And even though we have time and space against us, nothing can ever take away our abilities to dream, and we always let that dream keep us strong; we let it propel us.
Now I’m not depressed anymore. My blog is going great and most importantly I’ve found I really enjoy keeping it.
My family doesn’t see me as a depressed weirdo anymore, and even though my mother is still constantly bombarding me with questions as to when I’ll bring her grandchildren, she seems to understand I’m genuinely happy now and tries her best to live with that.
My bestfriend, L, saw how happy I was, she said maybe she’d try a dating app herself too.
M and I talk everyday and the times we spend apart makes my heart thump and yearn restlessly. I told him I loved him not long ago. I never expected him to say it back at the time because even though I knew we were crazy together, I never thought he could be just as crazy as I am.
He said he loved me too.
All Rainbows and Flowers
Or not. Not really, no. Again, being in love with someone I’ve never met is not all rainbows and flowers. There are times when I wish so badly I could hold him and stroke his hair and play with his chest that my heart literally hurt at the thought that I can’t.
Sometimes I just go crazy and weak under the torture. But in the end I can assure anybody that’s reading that it’s all worth it.
Like I said earlier, we share something, M and I, something much deeper. We share dreams. And as long as those dreams live, we’ll never stop trying!