“Oh darling if you love her let her go; you only gotta let her go”
It’s a saying as popular as any you’d find out there, immortalized into poems and lyrics and mantras: if you love her, let her go. If you love him, let him go. If they were truly yours to begin with, they’ll come back to you.
But how true is this saying? Is it just something people say to console themselves of a loss? Is there any modicum of truth to it?
If like us you’ve ever found yourself grappling with the term and trying to figure out the answers, fret no more. We’re here to guide you through the ambiguous term that is letting go of someone you love as a leap of faith.
First we start by considering what it’s not:
What It Doesn’t Mean
- Break up With Your Girlfriend I’m Bored
First thing the saying does not mean is for you to break up with your partner because you’re restless or bored, and then think, oh yeah they’re mine, they’ll come back to me alright.
News flash: they most certainly will not! Because that’s absolutely not what the saying is about. It’s not about doing something reckless or stupid out of whim and thinking everything’s going to be okay. I love her, I can let her go. She’s mine she’ll come back.
No, douchebag, she won’t. The only that will be coming back to you is Karma, to hit you right smack on the face!
- Treat Your Partners Like Shit
Speaking of doing something reckless and stupid, another thing high on that list is treating your partners like they’re not worth it, just because you’ve read or heard that if you love her, let her .
This is one of the stupidest interpretation of the saying you can ever get, and if you ever think treating your partners like shit is letting them go so that they can come back, then congratulations you’ve officially made the list for dumbest douchebag of the year.
- Crazy Stupid Test
Another crazy and really common interpretation of the phrase is to see it as an avenue to administer sinister thoughtless tests for your relationship by deliberating doing stuffs that may make your partners leave, in hope that you may determine if they really are for you or not.
There’s no other way to put this, but than to unequivocally say it as loud as we can: this is absolutely one of the dumbest, stupidest things you can ever do.
What you’ll achieve in most cases is you’ll scare away a brilliant partner and lose them for life! There is, in short, simply no better way to ruin your own life with your own hands and spoil a good thing for yourself than to intentionally chase a good partner away just because you’re testing to see if they really come back or not.
No matter how much you’re loved by a partner, if you pull this kind of ultra dumbass move, they will never come back. Nobody wants a fool for a partner, love or not.
It’s the 21st century, don’t be dumb.
- Not to Care or Give a Fuck
These are scenarios where partners who have read or heard the quote somewhere perhaps too many times start to think that everything’s guaranteed in the relationship.
They become carefree, neglect their partner, spend all their time in clubs and bars, thinking of course she can go, or he can go. She’s mine so she’ll always come back to me.
Sadly we have bad news for you, they won’t! They’ll leave so far and so completely you might just end up spending your entirely life alone at the bar.
- To Give Up Without a Fight
If you love her let her go does not mean that you fold you hands, or get some popcorn and watch your relationship fall into ruins without doing your best to save it.
A relationship you care about where both of you are soul mates will still crumble if you don’t fight for it, no matter how simpatico you both are!
So please, never see the saying as an avenue to be carefree and lethargic in your relationship. That is not what it is.
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What It Does Mean
Below we have provided a list of things the saying actually does mean and invites you to do. There are four of them but one thing that is common to all is this is that the act of letting go, if it ever hopes to fulfill its objective, must be natural.
You can choose to interpret the saying to mean that there is indeed a need for space in your relationship. If you love her let her go can mean that in relationships it’s okay to be away from your partners for a while.
There’s no need to be too overbearing and suffocate them with your presence by seeking to keep them with you at all time out of fear that the relationship wont survive you both being apart from each other.
It will. It can. And never be afraid to ask for personal space. If they are yours indeed they will always come back. No iota of doubt about that.
- Heartbreak Consolation
The phrase can also be used a consolation to shield ourselves from the trauma of heartbreak. And what’s more? There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.
The way to see it is this: if you love someone, it’s fine that they love you. If you both are truly meant for each other, then the separation is merely temporary and they will find their way back to you before you know it.
And if they don’t, well it’s fine too, it only means they’re not meant for you and you will find someone better in the near future! Win win.
- Holding on Too Tight
The saying is also pertinent in situations where we seem to be holding on too tight to a relationship that doesn’t seem to add much value to our lives. Or a relationship which by all evidence appears fated and doomed.
There is no point holding to a relationship that isn’t working out just because you feel the person is absolutely right for you and you’ll never find another.
There is a reason the relationship isn’t working. Maybe it’s just not the right time. Maybe you only need space. Ether way you’ll never know unless you let go.
If you really love them then let them go, if they’re meant for you they’ll come back and the relationship will become stronger and better then ever.
- Unrequited Love
Another great use of the saying is to come to terms with unrequited love.
Do you love someone so much it hurts? And then a thousand times more when they don’t even look at you, or don’t know you exist? Every time you see them with someone else all you want to do is rip your eyeballs out?
Well the saying is telling you, you do not have to do this. It’s okay to not be loved back. Make peace with it and let them go, if there really is a future for both of you, and you’re meant to be together in the end, you will be.
Nothing can stop fate. And you don’t need to fret over it. Let it go. Everything will be alright. Whatever will be, will be.
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