a lying spouse story
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I Know When To Lie to my Spouse – and I’m Proud of it


I’m going to tell you a lying spouse story.

It was the first day of a new month and due to the nature of my job, I had an off day.

So I’m there laying on a couch, reading a novel I’ve been putting off since god-knows-when, and then boom all of a sudden my husband bursts out of his room.

He’s in an abnormally large grey suit. I know he likes them big. It’s one of the reasons we’re married. He’s in a hurry and his hair is disheveled at the back.

He looks like he’d just had a bad dream and his voice is hoarse and unnatural as hell.

“Hey, honey.”
I say.

“Hey.” He replies. “How do I look?”

“Like a charm!”

He smiles. He relaxes. I move closer to him, brush his hair, adjust his tie.

“You’re going to do great,”
I say.

His smile widens. His voice becomes more natural. I give him a kiss and he leaves.


Lying Spouse Story – Home Alone



So I’m all alone at home. It’s refreshing as hell. I’ve been around so many people all through the last month this is exactly all I want right now.

Halfway through the novel I stand and take a quick walk in the fresh air. I come back, fix myself up a nice breakfast and take the nap of my life.

I wake up refreshed as hell. 

I watch a few reality T.V, get a call on our home line from one of my husband’s college buddies, a very riotous, obnoxious one, always bothering him and asking for money and trouble.

I nibble on a snack and finish my book. 

Best day ever.


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I Know When to Lie to my Spouse – Tired Lies 


So my husband returns, weak and tired and just plain looking like absolute filth. 

“I didn’t get it, honey.”

I feign surprise. 

“I’m so sorry, honey. You’ll get it next time.”

I fix him up a hot bath and he gets in. He’s so tired. He’s almost as tired as I am horny. 

“Are you alright?”
I ask.

“I’m so tired. How are you?”

“I’m alright. It was a miserable day without you.”

“I know, honey. I missed you too. Did I get any call while I was away?”

“Not one.”

He sleeps off in the bath tub.

He wakes up much later in the night and finally, I expect some action.

We start to kiss and he’s totally unresponsive. I can tell he’s still tired. 

“It’s no problem, honey, you can go back to sleep.”

“Are you sure – are you sure you aren’t- “

“Naa it’s fine, honey, come on.”


Lying Spouse Story – Yay Sex 


Next morning he woke up ready. We went for about a good five, six minutes. It was alright.

“That was amazing! It was, wasn’t it, honey?”

“Best I ever had,” I said. “Best I ever had.”

I left for work as usual after that. He prepares for his next interview. 

I Know When to Lie to My Spouse – White and Black


So let’s recap. If you’ve been reading closely, you would have seen that I am almost an inveterate lier to my husband.

I mean in just the span of the 24 hours covered in this lying spouse story, I had lied to my husband no less than seven times.

You don’t think it’s that much? Well then, let’s recap.


“Hey.” He replies. “How do I look?”

“Like a charm!”

He did not look like a charm.


“You’re going to do great,” I say.

That was his 7th interview in 2 weeks. He wasn’t going to do great. 


“I’m so sorry, honey. You’ll get it next time.”

There’s a reason I work so hard. It’s because my sweet husband isn’t getting ‘it’ anytime soon.


“It was a miserable day without you.”

It was best day ever.


“Did I get any call while I was away?”

“Not one.”

I wasn’t going to let him know his obnoxious friend had call. He was way too tired for that. Maybe I tell him when he’s fine, maybe I don’t. Either way, I wasn’t telling him right then.


“It’s no problem, honey, you can go back to sleep.”

“Are you sure – are you sure you aren’t- “

Of course I wanted to.


“That was amazing! It was, wasn’t it, honey?”

“Best I ever had,” I said. “Best I ever had.”

No comment.

I know When to Lie to my Spouse – Do You?



Lying is terrible. It is one of the most terrible vices in a relationship. It can ruin a good thing faster than the speed of light.

But like most things in life, what is capable of great good, once used wrong, can be capable of great evil. 

And what is capable of great evil, once used right, can be capable of great good.

I hold that there is such a thing as white lies. Only, it’s a slippery slope and as such it is mostly adviced against. But for those like me, confident that they can thread that thin line, it can work wonders for your relationship! 

Yes, this is a lying spouse story. Yes, I know when to lie to my husband, and, the funniest part, the absoslutely funniest part, is most times he knows. And, in fact, I believe – he likes it! 

Hell not only does he like it, he appreciates the hell out of it, too.


Lying Spouse Story – When, then?


There is no rigid formula to knowing when to lie to your spouse. It’s something you just know by having the skills to examine situations. 

In fact, the truth is, if you need a blog post to tell you when to lie to your spouse, just don’t. Just keep off lying. 

But from my story, it is obvious some patterns are eminent:

  • Lying to Protect Your Spouse’s Self Confidence
  • Lying to Not Make them Feel Unnecessary Guilt.
  • Lying to Shield them From Bad External Forces
  • Lying to Keep Them Optimistic and Positive, etc.

Lying Spouse Story – When Not?



The general rule of thumb, even while breaking this rule, should still be this:

Lying. Is. Bad. Lying. Is. Bad. Lying. Is. Bad.

And of course some lies are just plain unacceptable and will ruin your relationship very fast and lead you to an abyss where there’s no coming back from. 

Among these are

  • Lying about an affair.
  • Lying about a significant mistake.
  • Accumulating little ‘white’ lies.
  • Lying about an obvious fact.

Conclusion


So there you have it. Lying is terrible, but great ones have a way of turning bad things good. This is no ordinary task, though, and you should be really skeptical before going into it.

And even the greatest ones know not to overdo it. 


This article was written by an anonymous contributor and edited by NLv staff. Learn how you can share yours too.


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