No one can teach you how to fall in love. There are no books or foolproof steps to it. There is, however, a more definite art to staying in love.
This is not professing to be the all encompassing, pseudo-magical solution to keeping your relationship intact and everlasting. This is merely cogent advice based on research and observations as to why relationship fail and couples find it difficult to stay in love in the first place.
Some of these advice focuses on things to do, while some of them offers detailed hints as to what not to do. We can assure you that religiously sticking to them, while not a magical solution, will greatly increase your chances of having a beautiful, healthy and remarkably long-lasting relationship.
Secrets to Staying in Love | 12 Steps
First thing you have to understand when it comes to compliments is that although they are highly underrated as means to strengthen a relationship, they are very, very effective.
A healthy relationship is basically all about happiness. The more happiness you derive from a relationship, the healthier that relationship can be said to be; and the healthier your relationship is, the more happiness you derive from it. And that’s what compliments do best — they make us very happy.
It isn’t even a matter of vanity, but that urge in every single human — to be appreciated. Paying attention to your partner, recognizing what they value about themselves and what parts they don’t really recognize but are deserving of it, and pointing that out; telling them every single day how strong they are, how beautiful they are, how brilliant their smile is, will go a long way in making your relationship a happy one and helping you both stay in love.
This may seem a bit obvious, but without conscious effort, sometimes even the most obvious things can run past us.
Communication is essential in a relationship, we all know this. But as a relationship progresses, various things come up that stands between the partners and their communication.
And while it can be argued that knowing to communicate is obvious and not as important as making sure that you never lose sight of the situations that foster or hinders that communication, keeping in mind the need for communication is still a great way nonetheless to stay in love and make sure these hindering situations never arise in the first place.
Dealing With Negativity
Speaking of factors that hinders communication between partners in relationship, negativity/negative energies surrounding the partners is usually one of these.
There are various methods of dealing with negative emotions in a relationship, but one of the things to keep in mind is to always stay conscious and positive, be careful of external influences and actively try your best to keep as much optimism as you can.
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Another one of the effective secrets to staying in love in a relationship is nostalgia.
Most relationships fail because the partners diverge. They move farther away from things that used to hold them together and are unable to establish equilibrium as things go on.
Moving forward in life is great, and despite all great advice that tells us to never look back and keep moving forward, sometimes when it comes to staying in love — and for the sake of our relationships — we have to do exactly that.
So why not implement one of the great secrets to staying in love: plan that nostalgic night. Go back to where you first met; where you had the first kiss. Watch your favorite movies from back in the day, do anything to rekindle that flame and get that spark going again.
Even more important than bringing back a few pleasant past memories, is making new ones. A relationship that is at a standstill where nothing interesting happens anymore is one approaching mortality.
Go on adventures together. Do wild things. Or maybe just a romantic dinner at a special place that’s sure to leave a lasting memories. Rekindle old sparks and then keep that fire burning by stoking it with pleasant memories! These are the great secrets to staying in love!
Dealing With Argument
Another one of the great secrets to staying in love? Dealing with arguments.
How partners in a relationship deal with argument matters so much because, well, arguments will always arise.
Again consciousness comes into play here. Without you deliberately cautioning yourself and keeping yourself in check, you might find yourself doing or saying something you’ll regret forever during a short argument.
It may, in fact, be a product of certain little issues you’ve allowed to simmer beneath the surface, unless you’re conscious and purge the negative energies, things will end up catastrophic and blown out of proportion, putting the relationship in jeopardy.
Have Sex — A Lot
Is this even supposed to be one of the great secrets to staying in love in a relationship? I mean, is this even supposed to be a secret at all? Of course not, but, see, you’d be surprised to find out just how much it is so.
Which is baffling, seeing as of course the importance of sex can never be exaggerated, nor overstated. Great sex is not only good for your physical health, it’s also great for your psychological one too.
It can therefore be a literal relationship healer, and your catharsis and tension reliever; it can bring you closer to your partner and make you even more intimate.
Simply put, sex is the greatest full package out there. Don’t just have some, have a lot! Exercise this greatest secret to staying in love. In fact, go now. Go, go, go.
As mentioned ealier great sex is good, but you know what’s worse in its heinousness than great sex is good in its greatness — bad sex. Bad, monotonous sex.
Bad, monotonous sex is so bad it can literally ruin your relationship, which is why it’s always a great idea to spice things up in your sex life. Take risks, go out of your comfort zone. Try new things.
Explore new positions. Do it in crazy places. It’s fun and exciting; it will get your blood pumping, and most importantly, get that love juice flowing at full speed.
We all want to be appreciated, right? Of course when we make that conscious effort, and try our bests to do things, the least we should get is an acknowledgement and show of gratitude in return.
This tells us we matter, that we’re thought of highly and that our efforts did not go to waste. When it comes to relationships this need gets even ten times more heightened.
Some partners go miles out of their ways to keep their significant others satisfied and happy in relationships and yet they get no love whatsoever for it. There is not a much faster way to make sure you don’t stay in love in that relationship.
Staying in love in a relationship requires a keen eyes for the little effort your partner makes, and a constant, honest and heartfelt display of appreciation for those efforts.
It might even be conveyed with mere words, or sometimes with more, but whichever mode or modes of appreciation you choose, it must be clear, concise and unequivocal in conveying your admiration and appreciation. That is one of the great secrets to staying in love in a relationship.
P.S: Appreciation and compliments should not be confused. They are both very, very closely related terms, which nonetheless differ in their aspects. A good rule of thumb as to keeping up with the differences is that if you ever have trouble discerning one from the other, just keep doing both!
You will have to compromise if you ever want to stay in love. As mentioned earlier, you both will have to adapt and keep adapting until basically all your flaws are one and aligned.
Stubbornness and unwillingness to compromise are in fact some of the great secrets to NOT staying in love in a relationship. It promises a sure death.
And in the same vein you have to be on the lookout to make sure the compromises are not too one-sided. In a relationship where only one partner keeps sacrificing and the other remains an adamant dictator, staying in love becomes no longer an option.
Space can either work against you in your bid to staying in love, or you can use it to your own advantage.
See the way space work is that we all want it and at the same time we don’t. It’s head-turning stuff really, but it’s fun when you use it to your advantage.
There will be time when your partner is away from you; and there will be times when you wish your partner were away from you — not out of malice whatsoever, but because we all need a little space every now and then, even from the ones we love.
So why not throw these two as one and use it to your own advantage?
Use the times daily life takes you away from each other as your alone time. Use it to work on yourself and get some quality time with you. Win win.
Last on our list of secrets to staying in love in a relationship is what we call the external factors. These are every other thing/person apart from you and your partner, and sometimes they might be just as strong a role in determining whether you stay in love or not.
Sometimes we constantly let these external factors in and sometimes they break in all on their own without our consents. Either way you have to be conscious of them and try to use them to your own advantage.
Take friends, for instance. Friends are examples of external factors that can either make or break your relationship — but in the end it’s all up to you.
You may choose to let them spoil your happiness or use them as a means of getting genuine advice and feedback. Thankfully when it’s all said and done, the faith of your relationship is all in your hands! So why not follow this advice and ensure your relationship last forever!
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